My Nan or little nanny as I refer to her is my starry night 💫 I love her with all my guts and heaps of other nice stuff 💕
From a baby till about 5 my Nan and I were joined at the hip. Demanding Pop to vegemite our toast all the way to the corners, staying up late watching tv eating Chico’s and all our other adventures and precious memories.
She is also a crack up! Every time we talk she always says something that has me in giggles. Like I’m talking in the weird, quirky and pure just speaking her mind and I love it and her.
On my 17th birthday she was having jagerbombs while the crowd cheered her on. We lit a sparkler bomb and it didn’t actually turn out and the whole things just blew flames and set erry palm tree on fire. Every one running round freakin out putting out fires usual emergency stuff. Nan is squealing “Again, Again AGAIN.” She is too much fun. Until everyone gone home, I wanna go to bed cos I’m a wreck and Nan up by the fire with a bucket of frozen tequila no body could drink cos it was 2 bottles too strong. Shes outside spooning away at her bucket calling out we all pussys and don’t know how to party. Nan and I literally have to fight it out cos as said I’m a blind mess and she is keen to party till dawn! Which at 17 we should have but nope Nan’s the only one with a bit of go. She stands up in her tantrum, calls out a 40 yr old man to walk her home and I mean how could ya tell an old lady no, so off he trots Nan dancing and skipping in from on him laying down the lawns that there ain’t no sexual action in this trip 😂 Speaking with Nan once she is resurrected and she tells me how she got a good night kiss. Nan the old tease.
Lightning Ridge is an opal mining town known for camps (generator ran houses) amongst the opal fields, Nan lived in one. So of course there is worked mine holes and not every Dick and Harry cover their holes up when they finished like they are suppose too, so of course with open mine holes you have to watch where you are walking. BUT when you’re drunk and in the dark it can get a little tricky. Nan decided to walk herself back to her camp from the local club mind you they obviously have a courtesy bus which is the more fucking obvious option but obviously not this night. Well of course Nan fell down a hole. Lucky enough for her is wasn’t a 30-50ft one. Although a metre and a half over her head so just enough not to reach out of. She says she saw a plane or helicopter fly over her and remembers screaming out thinking they were there to rescue her. They weren’t. My nan explains trying to spider man her way up before taking off her heels and hiking up using the spikes. Hours of trying but this tactic eventually got her out! Trust you Nan!
Nan wasn’t always a party goer. In her teens 20s and raising kids life she was a strict queer lady. My poor pop would go and mow the lawn and my nan would be out there 10 minutes after with a pair of scissors because he didn’t cut it even 😳 cray cray! She would dress my mum and uncle an hour before church and make them sit on there beds in their church gear while she cleaned the house. It wasn’t until her older age where Nan took on a teenage rebellion.
Nan has slowed down again a bit now and enjoys her creature comforts of her very own flat in Gosford. The only troubles she has now is her cat, Milo. Milo is a wild ridge breed she took to the coast with her. He attacks her constantly for food and he is as round as a fancy lampshade. Although things weren’t so fine and dandy when she first took him to the coast from the bush. Nan was calling all the time worried for her cat she said he would constantly sit in the corner and stare at walls some times all day. Something wasn’t right. She took him to the vet to hear, Milo has depression. Depression?! The fucking cat. The vet explained that he is depressed from leaving his former home and the smells are all too different. They then prescribed him cat antidepressant which cost a whopping $300!! My nan was so confused why she couldn’t just give him some of hers 😂 She paid the man and her cat beat his depression. Now he is just a nasty thing that taunts wildlife and demands tuna. I wasn’t a fan from the start. Cmon people just get dogs 💁♀️
I do feel for Nan though. With us now 9 hours apart and phone calls so far and in between she gets lonely. My family also live almost an hour from her so circumstances and busy lifestyles make for less visits that way too. Nan calls one day and says Bree I’m bored and I’ve got nothing to do. Aww Nan bless your cotton socks I says Well go out and find friends Nan, go to bingo or something? She spits back like NO I hate bingo and I hate old people! Wait what?! Nan you are an old person? She offended as fuck goes I AM NOT! And I hate what they talk about! All they talk about is gardening and what they baked and cooked for dinner like who bloody cares!! Me on the other end I’m a little thrown, shocked but also wanna laugh but at the same time she is so serious right now I can’t. So I’m like ok well what sort of stuff do you like talking about then? Immediate response you know like the kardashians and that sort of stuff. Oh Nan bless you yet again. You’ll have to visit some night clubs sweetie.
Love you with all my beings Nan and Happy 65th for Yesterday! 💕
Who else has wacky wonderful relatives?
Bree xo
BeeKayMit 